Timing is Everything

Today is the 1 year Anniversary of when we took our then 4 1/2 month old Riley into the hospital for Infant Botulism. This date has been on my mind a lot the past few weeks. That 1 week experience is both one of the worst things I have ever experience as well as one of the most amazing. I have never felt that vulnerable & helpless...I do not think my husband has ever felt that vulnerable & helpless.There was nothing we could do, & we had this great fear that we were going to watch our daughter die. Neither of us wanted to say it, but we were both thinking it. When we did finally admit we were thinking it through the sobs & heart-wrenching tears, I think it scared us even more.

Our friends & our family saw at our weakest & at our strongest. Walls were torn down, & we were our naked, vulnerable, helpless selves just praying that some miracle would happen. That there would be some reason that we were going through this, & that we did not birth a daughter just to experience the loss of a daughter. Our emotions were all over the place. We did not know how to describe what we felt, nor did we know what we were allowed to feel. We were supposed to be strong, but how can you be strong as you are possibly watching your daughter dying. We felt unconditional love. We felt it for her, for each other, for God, but also from others. The community of people that surrounded us during that most difficult time will be treasured by us forever. Thank you all so much. You have no idea how much you mean to us.

Two very special people in our lives gave sermons the week after Riley was sick & was able to share her story to encourage others. One was on Facing Storms (http://web.mac.com/lfle/Lambs_Fellowship_Lake_Elsinore/Messages/Entries/2007/7/15_Faith_%26_Fear_-_When_we_face_storms.html) & the other was on the Power of Community (which I do not have the link for). Since this time last year, we have shared her amazing story with so many. In fact this weekend, I had a very healing experience. Unfortunately, a baby in Hawaii named Abigail was recently diagnosed with Infant Botulism. After 13 days in the hosptial, she & her family are home & doing well. I had the opportunity to speak with her mom, Jennifer. She is also a Christian. I was so blessed to have the chance to speak with her. Although I believe that I was supposed to be the one there for her, answering her questions & such, speaking with her, rejoicing in our mutal joy & God's amazing power, & sharing Riley's story & the exciting news of how she is doing now was very healing for me on this anniversary of when she went into the hospital. She even prayed for me!! I thought of praying for her as well, but I did not want to rob her of the blessing that she had given me. So Jennifer, if you are out there reading this, thank you & please know that we will be praying for Abigail's quick recovery to full health. You have blessed me today. God knows what He is doing. Timing is everything.

Riley is excited to be alive & well & celebrated

this July 4th with friends & family! She had a wonderful time playing baseball with her Uncle Jay, Cousin Christian, Uncle Brian & Daddy, playing with her Auntie Meg & Grandma Mills, going for a dip with her friend Logan & eating Auntie Tay's delicious Macaroni & cheese & yummy berries & cream dessert.

Today she spent the afternoon taking pictures with the my side of the family & ran around the department store showing that she is very much full of joy & a zest for life! We are so glad that this year's July 4th weekend is different than last year's.

To find out more about Infant Botulism, go to: http://www.infantbotulism.org/.